The update this week comes bounding atcha with a bunch of golden spring daffs picked fresh from the garden and it’s even shaken off the slugs before it hands the flowers over. And so without any further ado, here we go with this week's Coronation Street update.
The Barlow men are both making waves. It’s all hands below deck as Peter returns after servicing a woman on a Portsmouth yacht after everyone thought he’d been in rehab and dad Ken drops anchor and moves in on Martha for a kiss on her barge. Cabin-boy Ken tells Ted that everything between him and Martha’s above board but he’s kidding himself and lying to his missus, deadwood Deirdre, as he drowns in a Bermuda triangle of love. And when Leanne finds out that Peter’s betrayed her, she’s all at sea and sets sail to Leeds. Peter’s left landlubbing with his son Simon, the cutest little kid that Corrie’s ever had. Blanche puts her oar in and comments on Peter’s philandering, saying it’s all Ken’s fault. Like father, like son. And then she turns back to her woman’s magazine of choice this week: Chit Chat. I like magazines with short, snappy names: Take A Break, Put Th'kettle on, Have a Fag, that sort of thing.
Talking of magazines, we saw another magazine this week on Corrie, this one’s called Box Clever, strapline: “Revealed! Storylines of your favourite soaps!” as Lloyd drew spots on Jeremy Clarkson’s cover pic. Lloyd’s not best pleased at being dumped by Liz who reckons he’s embarrassed to be seen with her because she’s older than he is, so he takes to doodling instead.
Over in the Kabin, it’s Norris’ birthday, he’s a hundred and ten and in a right faff. To cruise or not to cruise, that is the question, and it’s probably been a conundrum for much of Norris’ life. Mary wants him to release the adventurer within and travel the world with her in the motorhome, or as she calls it “the tardis of love”. Where Mary has visions of visiting China and Hong Kong, Norris dreams of pulling up outside a nice tea-shop in Keswick. Rita isn’t exactly encouraging Norris to go, she can’t help but feel jealous that Mary wants to meander the highroads and byroads with Norris by her side. Rita knows that Norris’ place is next to her in the Kabin, being heavily patronised on a daily basis by a woman of a certain age with big red hair.
Up in the flat in the sky at Victoria Court, Tara tells Dev about her dream of opening an art gallery. And it’s no sooner said than done as Dev sets plans into motion to make his girlfriend’s dream come true. Jason suggests Bill Webster as Tara’s first artist, well the doodles Bill does while he’s on the phone to the timber company have to be seen to be believed. The only fly in the ointment could be Dev’s Uncle Umed who flies in from th’India to take an over zealous interest in his nephew’s love life. He’s only been on the Street five minutes and he's eyeing up Liz McDonald in the pub.
It’s all systems go as Becky and Steve set their wedding plan in motion. With only a week to go, Hayley gets stitching with pink shiny material off the market to make Becky’s wedding dress. Becky wants summat like a cross between Princess Diana and Jordan’s confection of a frock. Can Hayley fix it? Yes she can! When Roy finds out that Liz isn’t too happy about Becky becoming her daughter-in-law, there’s a wonderful scene where Roy has a word with Liz in defence of Becky, his surrogate daughter. It fair brought tears to my eyes, it really did.
In the Rovers, Emily’s lost for words when Rita turns up in outfit clearly designed by someone on strong and various drugs. “Well, I was always keen on things that clash,” she tells a stunned Mrs B in the pub. Clash? The colours and swirls on this particular top of Rita’s put the vertical hold out on the telly and the Sky digibox went weird. It looked like one of those Magic Eye pictures and if you stare at it hard enough and long enough, three peacocks appear on Rita’s right arm.
As the fall out from the Windass and Platt clash die down, Tina and David split up and Graeme decides to “have a pop” at Tina, the old romantic that he is. But even armed with three cheap bouquets of chrysanths from Dev’s flower buckets, Graeme doesn’t turn Tina’s pretty head although Gary Windass just might. There’s an almighty row in the Platt house when David finds out about the deal Joe did with Len and this was one of Corrie’s finest scenes in ages. A four-handed, four-way scream-fest between Tina, David, Joe and Gail, beautifully written and all their secrets came tumbling out onto the carpet. Tina runs off in tears, David’s sent to his room by Gail: “But I’m 17!” Gail: “And I’m 50, get to your flaming room!”, Gail tells Joe to sling his hook and don’t come back and Joe breaks down on the cobbles. Wonderful stuff from writer Jonathan Harvey.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Coronation Street writers this week were Peter Whalley, Julie Jones, Simon Crowther, Joe Turner and Jonathan Harvey.
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