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Here we are with another winter warmer of a weekly update. Huddle round and keep warm as without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.
Big story of the week has been Mol and Ty’s wedding. It’s also Amber’s 18th and Tara’s arranged a joint party with Molly’s hen night up in Dev’s flat. It starts off well, there’s nibbles and a hunk but then it goes pear shaped, as you knew it would. Jackie Dobbs spots Graeme in the Rovers, he’s doing the food for the girls and Jackie asks him if he knows where Molly’s do is taking place as she hasn’t been invited. And in a wonderful scene with perfect comic timing, Graeme and Jackie introduce themselves to each other. “Buffet,” Graeme says by way of introduction. “Hiya Buffy, I’m Jackie, pleased to meet you.” Anyway, Jackie ends up stripping Graeme half-naked at the party, he prances about waving his sausage, things get smashed, food gets squashed on the carpet and the whole thing gets well and truly Jackie’d.
Over at the Flying Horse things don’t go much better at Tyrone’s stag do. There’s Jack with his words of wisdom and the lads raise a glass to Vera, which was nice. There’s Jason with his drinking head on and Kev in his best shirt with Ashley and Dev looking on. Tyrone gets a call in the pub from Aunty Pam who tells him she wants him to make contact with a shady fella called Dave in the pub who’s buying some fake sunspecs, RoyBans, from her on Monday. Monday? But that’s Tyrone’s wedding day! Anyway, Tyrone turns up in the pub trying to flog shady Dave the sunspecs but he turns out to be an undercover cop and he slaps the cuffs on Tyrone just as Molly’s about to set off for the church. And set off she does, in her own little carriage with a view of the backside of two white horses plodding in front. But when she reaches the church, there’s no sign of Tyrone and the carriage has to do a few rounds of the grounds during which Molly ends up in tears of worry over where Tyrone’s gone, Amber’s hangover kicks in and Aunty Pam’s fascinator no longer does what it says on the tin.
But anyway, Tyrone finally gets there and after fainting at the altar through stress and nerves, he goes through with the wedding and Molly Cozette (I know! Cozette?) and Tyrone Sylvester become the new Mr and Mrs Dobbs. Jack walks Molly up the aisle and a right big tear found itself in the corner of my eye, it really did. The only thing Tyrone need worry about now is how to tell Molly he’s been nicked for selling stolen goods and instead of partying at the Rovers to celebrate the wedding he has to go to the cop shop to turn himself in.
Elsewhere this week, Steve tries and fails to come to terms with Lloyd lusting after his mum. In the bookies, Lloyd puts a tenner on a horse called ‘Sexy Mother’ to win. It’s probably a right old nag but Lloyd’s in lurve and Steve’s not best pleased that his mum and his best mate are at it. You know, it.
Steve’s got more problems when he lies to barmcake Becky that he’s finished with Michelle when he hasn’t. Becky’s over the moon that she and Steve can get together at last but feels, like, really sad for Michelle. So she’s more than a little surprised when Michelle gets dolled up with a new hairdo and a new frock to take Steve out on the town. Realising that Steve’s lied to her, Becky’s in tears in the Rovers and it’s left to Liz to dry her tears and pat her hand over a stiff drink.
Elsewhere, Peter pretends he’s off the booze and lies to everyone that he’s sober. But he can’t pull the wool over Blanche’s eyes. “You would have been good in the Gestapo,” he tells her. Leanne pops round for an afternoon of drink and DVDs which prompts little Simon to wonder out loud who’s looking after the bookies. It’s Dirty Laura, apparently. I wonder if she knows Fat Brenda? And has anyone ever seen the pair of them in the same room at the same time? Enquiring minds need to know.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Coronation Street writers this week were new writer John Kerr, Joe Turner, Damon Rochefort and the man who married off Molly and Tyrone – Mr Jonathan Harvey, Esq.
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